Viscous Dishwashing Liquid
The new Chrissy Snow Thigh Master.
A random title for a random blog. Somewhere in this house I have a list of topics I've been meaning to turn into intelligible blogs. Life has been a little out of control lately, though. I keep thinking that if I can just make it thru June, and the kids are out of school, I'll magically be back in action. I know. I really am the Queen of Self-Delusion.
Anyway, the title came to me as I was attempting to put dishwashing liquid in the dishwasher last night. This particular brand is extremely thick. It won't come out of the bottle unless I hold it between my knees and squeeze it like a thigh master, plus say a few magic (ie four-letter) words. These are the important things eating up my time and keeping me from blogging.
And speaking of blogging, many of you must be wondering how one makes money on writing a free column about books that are unpublished and therefore unavailable for purchase. In the words of the late, great Phil Hartman: "Volume." (see: Change Bank.)
No, what's really been keeping me busy is this little metal monkey I've purchased. A neat little toy that, like a newborn, requires a lot of attention. The first night I was setting it up, I got to the part in the manual that said, "Caring for your new Mac" and read it aloud for the family as, "The care and feeding of your new Mac." I'm silly that way.
My children don't fall too far from the tree. Daughter responded with, "Remember to care and feed yourself." Yes, these little machines do become an obsession. Meanwhile, as I was carrying it up to my office that night, my son asked if I was taking it to bed with me. I said yes, and that I would sleep with it under my pillow so no one would take it. He said, "The laptop fairies might, and leave you a quarter."
I know. He cracks me up. I'm supposed to embarrass, I mean accompany him on a field trip soon. I was asking him how excited he was about it and he gave me a very sarcastic and giggle filled, "You have no idea how excited I am that you're coming. I can't even say it with a straight face."
Oh, and one more one-liner that I recently enjoyed, this one a quote from Winston Churchill:
"The secret of success is learning to go from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."
Kind of the way I blog. Sporadic and with forgettable content, but I do it with verve. :)
Will now spend three minutes trying to figure out how to add that wordcounter thing, then must run out to pick up daughter's friend, visit Mom, start dinner.... In case I fail at the wordcounter - I'm somewhere in the neighborhood of 3000 words today. I know. I totally rock.