iWife



Or
A side-by-side comparison for the discerning husband

We were joking in Australia that my brother-in-law was getting the most up-to-date version by marrying my baby sister.  I'd be the Classic, my middle sister is the 2.0 and baby is the Latest Release.  For example, when 2.0 signed the wrong witness line on the Marriage Certificate (yes, I'm putting it out there for the entire Globe to enjoy) 2.0's husband said, "I thought they'd fixed that glitch in this version."  Nope, part of the charm in all three models is our ability to nod our heads with understanding then completely screw up really important stuff.  (See my post on Ssssnakes.)

Relating this amusing little tale to my daughter, we came up with a number of improvements by the manufacturers (my parents) as they released each model into the world:

2.0, for instance, has a better memory (birthdays in particular), is faster, has a bolder design, better social networking capabilities (she's on Facebook) and is generally more technically advanced.  (She was the one who always had to set the time on the VCR.  My parents still call her to walk them through how to use iTunes--and set the time on the microwave.)

The Latest Version of course has massive bug fixes (she's learned to live with Huntsmans).  It's definitely a smaller (yes, I'm still claiming you're shorter than me) more user-friendly design.  She's without attachments--pretty much in The Cloud due to the fact that all her worldly possessions were lost, stolen, or otherwise disposed of on her way to Australia.  This one takes socializing to a whole new level.  If you want FaceTime, this is the one for you.

Let's not completely dismiss the original, though.  Yes she tends to be hardwired into place and often crashes while multi-tasking, but she was innovative for her time and still has room for growth.  No, her features aren't as polished and fresh as later models, but she's been a workhorse despite hard use by children.  A romantic would call her a Classic.

I just need one man to buy that line.  Since he's the kind of guy who's willing to hang onto something old and do the maintenance to keep it running, I think I have a chance.